Filling the Void
by valondon
Summary: Harry and Ginny are overcome with depression after the second war ends. They have lost all that has ever been dear to them. Through a drunk stupor and a talk with the Minister of Magic, Harry remembers a book on time travel and calls in a favor.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

Alone, all alone. Or for the most part. That was the only thought that kept running through my mind. I picked up my wand and inspected it with a curious expression on my face. It'd be so easy to end it all right now. This whole war hasn't been worth it, and I would've rather died fighting with those that I've grown to love rather than live this "peaceful" life without them. My hand twitched in temptation. It would be so easy to say the two words that would end my suffering forever. Two simple words.

A rather loud bang snapped me out of my morbid thoughts. It seemed as if my suicidal brooding would have to wait. I got up and walked to the door and opened it to find Ginny standing there. My one love, the only one that has been able to keep me going through these dark years. A silent tear ran down my cheek as I thought about all that we have lost. She lost her whole family. The ones people that she grew up with, the ones that have always cared for her, and attempted to the best of their abilities to keep her alive. I have lost my surrogate family. The ones who took a lonely boy with an abusive family in and showed him what love really meant.

I shake my head and snapped out of these dark thoughts. I learned a long time ago that it doesn't do to dwell on the past. I took a look at Ginny and noticed that the dark circles surrounding her eyes have gotten even worse since she left for her vacation. It appeared as if neither of us were sleeping too well. The only time we got any amount of sleep was when we were with each other. We kept each other's demons at bay.

I went up to her and gave her a strong hug filled with a want for comfort, a want to know that everything would turn out alright. She returned the hug, though it was without the comfort and the knowledge that I longed for. Instead her hug was an exact replica of mine, filled with the same want and need for knowledge. I bent down and tenderly kissed her lips then sighed. Was it wrong that I still showed affection for her? Was it disrespectful to the thousands dead from the war?

She seemed to sense my thoughts and gave my waist a tight squeeze before letting go and heading to our room. I stared after her for a moment before I came back to my senses and went and grabbed a bottle of firewhisky. I sat down at the table and started drowning my sorrows in the bottle of smoldering hot alcohol. Stuck reliving memories of the war was not an ideal way to spend the rest of your life, but between a mixture of firewhisky and Ginny, the pain seemed to be numbed, if only a bit.

Again, I sighed. If only there was a way that I could change things. If only I could somehow go back or send a message back that would alter the war. I knew it was dangerous, but how does a little hope hurt? I took another sip and noticed the bottle was almost empty. I'd have to slow down before I ended up completely pissed. Usually I wouldn't really care, but Ginny would refuse to give me a hangover potion and I had a Ministry commemoration event to attend to the next day to honor the end of the war and those who died fighting for the freedom of Wizarding Britain. I really didn't care for the Ministry or the public, but I'd go to honor those who gave their lives to give me more time to take down that monster, and I didn't want to do that pissed.

I took a last sip of the bottle empting it of all liquid. I threw it in the garbage then made my way back upstairs to my room slightly tipsy. It would wear off by morning, or at least I hoped it would. Either way, it's easier to deal with being tipsy then pissed out of your mind.

Once in my rather small room, I stripped to my boxers and took a look at my body. It was easy to notice the signs of fatigue and not eating on my body. Maybe it would be better to kill myself with a curse, that way I wouldn't suffer like I would if I kept starving myself to death. For what seemed like the hundredth time that day I sighed, and shook myself out of suicidal thoughts. I climbed in bed and lay down next to Ginny's already sleeping form. Though it wasn't a peaceful sleep, she was twisting and turning in an obvious nightmare. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me and she immediately settled down. Sometimes it still shocked me the calming effect we had on each other, even when asleep.

I let my thoughts wonder to where I would've been without this beautiful creature in my life. I would probably have ended up dead before the war even started in earnest. Even if I made through the war without her, I wouldn't be here right now. I could say without a doubt that she was the reason that I was still here, the reason I haven't moved on to the next great adventure as Albus liked to call it. I was pretty sure she felt the same way. With that thought my body and mind relaxed and I fell into the first peaceful night of sleep I've had since Ginny left for vacation.

The next morning found both of us frantically getting dressed up in formal muggle clothes. After the war ended, neither of us was fond of anything that reminded us of the wizarding world, unless of course it was alcohol. We were strange that way, but everything else reminded us of what we lost. There was not a magical thing in their little flat except for a cabinet full of wizard's strongest alcohol and their wands, and they mainly kept those with them due to their paranoia which was fostered and nurtured by the war and Voldemort.

A muttered curse from Ginny shook me from my thoughts and reminded me that we only had ten minutes to get dressed and ready for this Ministry event. I put on my belt and finished tying my shoes then waited patiently for Ginny to finish getting dressed before I grabbed her and apparated us both to the designated field that the Ministry set up the ceremony (more like celebration on the public's point of view).

When we got there we were greeted by the new Minister, and one of the few surviving members of the Order of the Phoenix, Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"Thanks for coming Harry. I know you hate anything to do with our world and especially anything to do with the public, but it means a lot to have you here."

"No problem Kingsley, I wasn't the only one that lost people during the war. The least I can do for those that suffered is to show up at functions that are meant to remember their sacrifice." I replied, "But it seems as if others feel the need to celebrate rather than remember," I added viewing someone set off a bunch of fireworks that spelled "Victory."

Kingsley shrugged and said, "At least they have something to be happy about."

I nodded, then grabbed Ginny's hand and dragged her to several people that they recognized and lost someone during the war. Throughout the day my mind kept drifting to the thoughts I was having yesterday. I knew there were books about advanced forms of time travel in the Department of Mysteries. Remembering this, I was tempted to just drop what I was doing and ask the Unspeakables to give me the book, they owed me anyway.

Later that day found us back in our flat. We were sitting on the couch with the T.V. on and a bottle of firewhisky in each of our hands. Well, an empty one in Ginny's and her head in my lap, and a light snoring sound escaping her lips with each breath she took. I started absently running my fingers through her hair as I took another sip of firewhisky. My thoughts have not strayed far from the book that was locked up in the Department of Mysteries. Eventually my mind was made up, I would go to the Ministry of Magic tomorrow and call in the huge favor the Unspeakables owed me and get that book. With that thought I fell asleep on the couch with a faint smile on my face, my first one in years.

I have just arrived back from the Ministry of Magic with a book in my hand and the broadest grin on my face since before the war started. I ran up to Ginny who was watching the tube and shoved the book in her lap.

She looked up me with a puzzled expression and asked, "What's this?"

I replied with my broad grin still intact, "That is a book on time travel. And inside it is a section on a way to send your soul, mind, and magical core back in time. Your essence will merge with your younger self. This is a way that we can go back and end the second war before it even happens! We'll be able to see everyone again!"

Ginny looked a little confused when I started my explanation, but by the time I finished she too bore a large grin on her face. I nearly danced with joy, this was the first time I've truly seen Ginny happy since those peaceful moments before the war. Not only that, but I found away to go back to the past and have a second chance to redo everything, to vastly reduce the number of causalities of the war. Yes, life was certainly looking up right now.

Both Ginny and I went to bed happy that night, and for the first time in over a decade we slept with happy dreams, no hint of a nightmare at all.

_3 months later_

"Are you ready for this?" I asked Ginny. We had spent the last three months preparing and setting up the ritual that would send our essence back to the past. We had already had the lines for it drawn, and the only thing left were for us to take the potions and perform that last spell that would send us back.

She nodded and replied, "I've been ready since you told me about this, now you better stop stalling or you're not going to be too happy when you see me once we get back!"

I chuckled a bit and added some more ingredients to the disgusting looking potion. It was a very long shot that this would work, but what did we have to lose? If this failed we will end up dead, and both of us agreed that it'd be better dead with our family then stuck here without them. If we succeeded, well that was obvious, we'd have everyone back and we would have a second chance to do everything right. After I finished adding the ingredients to the potions and stirring them, I gave a cup to Ginny who drank it all and grimaced. I too drank mine in one gulp and nearly vomited. This stuff was disgusting.

I took a look at Ginny and thought about all the times we spent together. Throughout the war she was what kept me going, especially after Ron and Hermione died. Ron and Hermione, they were the last ones to die, and gave their lives so that I could live to hit Voldemort with the killing curse. A single tear escaped my eye and I furiously wiped it away.

"Ginny, if this doesn't work, know that I'll always love you."

"I love you too Harry."

With that we kissed passionately then broke apart, looked at each other, nodded, then cast the killing curse at ourselves. Our souls were ripped from our body's and thanks the rituals we did they were forced into a temporal portal and sent back to the summer of 1994, before my fourth year at Hogwarts.

At seven in the morning the resident of the smallest bedroom in Number 4 Private Drive woke up screaming as his older version's soul, memories, and magical merged with his.

AN: Well, I know this is overly cliché, but I didn't have the inspiration to continue with any of my other stories and just randomly started writing this one and liked where it took me. I believe I'll continue working on this one while my other projects are put on hold. Though I will occasionally work on my original piece whenever inspiration strikes me. Anyway, thoughts?


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

I woke up with a start. I had this massive headache and my surroundings were all blurry to me. I grabbed my glasses off the nightstand and shoved them on. It didn't help. I took them back off and proceeded to rub my temples. This headache was murder. For a brief second I wondered if it had anything to do with Voldemort, but quickly dismissed the thought since my scar wasn't hurting.

Suddenly the door burst open to emit my rather oversized uncle who spat out, "What is with all this screaming? Keep it quiet in here if you know what's good for you."

Screaming? I don't remember screaming. I sighed as I rubbed my temples. The headache was lessening and things started becoming clear again. The war, Voldemort, all the deaths, the violence, the destruction, Ginny, the book, and the ritual. I couldn't believe it! I actually succeeded and going back to the past! I couldn't wait to see the Weasleys again!

The sound of my uncle throwing his foot down brought me out of my stupor. I could do without being with my mother's family again. When they died I was saddened, but not because I cared for them. In all honesty, their death didn't bother me at all. No, what bothered me was the fact that after their death, I had no connection to my mother left.

Another foot slammed to the ground. I looked up at my uncle and quickly said before I got in too much trouble, "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

He grunted, "Damn right it won't happen again. Now get up and fix some breakfast."

I nodded, and got dressed once he closed the door. As I was putting on my genes my thoughts wondered to Ginny. If I made it back, surely she made it back also. I wondered how she was coping with finally seeing her family alive again after 5 years alone with only me for company. We discussed that the best thing to do would be to act as normal as possible. Neither of us thought it would be a good idea to tell anyone of the time travel until after Voldemort was dead. There was just too much of a risk of that information ending up in the wrong hands and screwing everything up. Even if they were trained in Occlumency, there were other ways to break people and access vital information. We learned that the hard way.

"Boy! Get down here now!"

I shook my head at the sound of my uncle's shouts. As I made my way down the stairs I started toying with fantasies of what I would do to my "family" once I was able to break the trace on my wand. For some demented reason my uncle still had me prepare meals even though there was nothing to cook now that Dudley's school nurse sent home a strict diet that the whole family was now following to make "Ickle-Duddie-Kins" feel better. I shook my head in amusement at my family. After years of war followed by years of depression and suicidal thoughts, they really couldn't bother me even more. Not that I was going to let them know.

I watched in amusement as the same events from the past played out before my eyes. Again the letter from Mrs. Weasley arrived covered from inch to inch in stamps. As my uncle interrogated me about the contents of the letter, and I asked if I could go with the Weasleys to the World Cup, I was toying with my wand which I had conveniently sticking out of my pocket. I knew that after I blew up Marge before my third year my uncle doubted that I'd really get in too much trouble if I used magic. Taking that into account, he gave immediate permission for me to spend the summer with the Weasleys. It didn't hurt that I mentioned that I was writing a letter to Sirius I supposed.

I ran up to my room and finished writing a letter to Sirius mentioning that I was going with the Weasleys to watch the World Cup! I really couldn't wait to see my outlawed godfather again. It had been fifteen long years since I set my eyes on the mangy mutt. His death was the first of the Second War, and it still haunted my dreams to the day. If only that battle in the Department of Mysteries opened my eyes to the horrors of war, a lot of lives could've been saved. I shook my head, I was sent myself back, and I was given a second chance. All that happened during the war didn't matter anymore. Everyone was still alive. I gave the letter to Hedwig and told her to be safe and make sure she didn't get intercepted. She gave me a reproachful look for daring to question her abilities before she nipped my finger affectionately and took off.

I sat down on my bed with my stomach growling. This diet was as bad as I remembered. How it didn't work on Dudley was beyond me. I suppose he snuck food from the neighbor's and friend's houses. I laughed at the thought; Dudley couldn't do anything good for himself even if it meant his life. My stomach growled again, and I remembered the food I had stashed away under the loose floorboard. I tore it up and took some of the cake that Mrs. Weasley sent earlier that week. I would have to give her a huge hug and a thank you when I next saw her. It would also be the perfect cover to express my happiness for finally seeing my surrogate mother.

Thinking about the Weasleys brought my thoughts to the youngest one, the one that kept me going in my dark times. We talked about ways to introduce our relationship slowly to her family. It wouldn't do well for them to catch us kissing without an explanation. In the end we decided that we would start writing letters to each other over the summer, as it would be the most convincing way of us getting to know each other. With that thought I began a letter.

_Dear Ginny…_

I sat there in the living room the on the day that the Weasleys were supposed to pick me up. I was starting to get bored and annoyed with my uncle's rant when there was a loud crash from inside the fireplace. I listened and watched in amusement as the Weasleys argued with each other about being stuck in the fireplace, and my uncle's face turn different shades of purple. Eventually I took pity on everyone and decided to help out.

"Mr. Weasley, it's an electric fireplace, it's blocked."

"Ekletrik you say? How fascinating, does it involve plugs?"

I couldn't help it, I laughed. It was so good to hear Mr. Weasley again and his fascination with anything that has to do with muggles. It's been eight years since I've last seen him, eight years since we shared theories on how muggle technology worked. I almost broke down in front of everyone due to how overwhelming these feelings were.

I was snapped out of my thoughts with a bang as Mr. Weasley unblocked the fireplace. I realized that I would really have to stop dwelling on stuff like this otherwise I was liable to be became I depressed weeping mess just thinking about my past. That was behind me, this is the present, a second chance. They would not die this time. With an amused smile I thought that maybe all this redundant repetition might finally sink in one day.

I chuckled to myself as I watched Fred and George drop some sweets which included a Tongue-Tongue-Toffee. I watched with ill disguised glee (you would think ten years of war would help me with a poker face, but apparently it didn't) as my oaf for a cousin picked up one of the sweets and had his tongue grow in size till it touched the ground. Just like in the past, I was ushered into the fireplace as Mr. Weasley tried to convince my aunt and uncle to set the oaf straight.

"So did he eat it?"

"How big did his tongue get?"

Between the dizzying sensations of floo travel and being bombarded with questions as soon as I shot out of the fireplace, I was ready to vomit. And that's exactly what I did, all over Fred and George's shoes.

"Look what you two did to poor Harry. You both know floo travel upsets him and you bombard him with questions as soon as he comes out." It was the most angelic voice I have ever heard. I looked up and grinned as I locked eyes with the only one that ever truly understood me. She grinned back at me then sent a scolding look at the twins before she abruptly turned around and headed to the kitchen to head off her mother. Seemed as if she also remembered her reaction to the sweets, and didn't want the setbacks to the Twin's products. We could use quite a few laughs in the future.

Mr. Weasley came out of the fireplace with a fierce expression on his face, but it was also had an underlying amused look to it to the skilled observer. Even though he fought for muggle protection, he never really did like my aunt and uncle. He started to lay into the twins, but his heart really wasn't in it. The scolding was really just meant to make sure that those two don't go off pranking.

During the lecture on pranking muggles, Ron, Hermione, and myself silently made our way up to Ron's bedroom. Once we got to the door I was rooted to the spot. It was decorated the exact same way it was when the Borrow was burned to the ground during the second war. I shook my head at Ron's obsession with the Chuddley Cannons. That was something that I determined I had to change as soon as the opportunity presented itself. It really wasn't worth the heartbreak, watching Ron distraught after each Cannons loss. Well, maybe it was, it'd be amusing as hell.

After a few minutes into a mindless discussion about who would win the World Cup, Ginny walked into the room and sat down on my bed next to me. Ron sent us a questioning glance and asked, "Ginny, what are you doing here? Don't you have better things to do rather than embarrass yourself in front of Harry?" That comment earned him a slap in the back of the head from Hermione. I just shook my head at my best mate's thickness.

"Harry and I have been exchanging letters this summer. We became friends. Friends hang out together Ron. So I think I'm perfectly happy right here," replied Ginny while sending me a sly grin that Ron thankfully missed or misinterpreted the meaning of. Well knowing Ron, either option was likely.

"Why you sending letters to my baby sister mate? You know she has a crush on you."

Ginny seemed to barely be able to refrain from hexing Ron for that comment. Even though they both knew that each had more than a crush on each other, Ron's thickness could still be annoying. Harry supposed she only refrained because she was still thrilled at finally seeing her brother alive again.

I woke up that night screaming from the first vision I've had of Voldemort in years. The last time I was in Voldemort's mind was when I used the connection to find his hide out and finally end the war and terror for good. It was not a pleasant experience to be there while Voldemort planned to use the Tournament to capture me. I promptly leaned over and vomited.

Sighing to myself I got up and walked downstairs and out into the garden, leaving the vomit there for someone else to clean. I never was good at cleaning charms and was likely to leave a stain. I walked over to my favorite spot by the little pond near the garden and sat down. It still overwhelmed me that I was actually able to travel back into the past with Ginny. Both of us had been so closing to losing it and just ending our own lives and the book provided a miracle.

After what seemed like days I glanced down at my watch and noticed that it had only been a couple hours since I first came out side. The sun was starting to rise and there was a gentle breeze caressing my face. I really couldn't name the last time I felt this much at peace. Probably the last time was back in my sixth year with Ginny.

Speak of the devil, I thought to myself as the object of my thoughts came out of the Borrow and sat down beside me. I took her hand and drew silent comfort from her being there. She started lightly stroking my hand with her thumb. A sense of déjà vu swept over me. This was a scene that we were both used to from the future. It slightly bothered me that the war hadn't even started and I was already in need of her comfort.

Her voice startled me out of my thoughts, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shrugged, "I guess it couldn't hurt. I had a vision of Voldemort. I…I just don' like being in his head, and I guess I never got used to it before."

She nodded her head, and after a minute of silence asked a question that seemed to have bothered her for awhile, "Do you really think that us coming back will make a difference?"

I sat there for a second thinking the question over before I replied, "Yeah, I think we have a decent chance. The largest problem we should have is getting out of Hogwarts to find and destroy the Horcruxes. Though since Dumbledore isn't suspecting a fourteen year old to be sneaking off to fight a war that hasn't started yet, he won't be keeping that close of an eye on me as he will if the war starts back up. What I'm worried about is if I'll be able to kill Voldemort in the graveyard. If I fail there at least he'll be too distracted by the prophecy to realize that his Horcruxes are gone. That will give me another chance in the Ministry to finish him. Though if it comes down to that, Sirius won't die again. And I will bring Wormtail back from the graveyard!"

Ginny must have been able to sense a bit of resentment directed toward her, and said, "You know I'm sorry that we couldn't go back to before your third year and free Sirius. We needed to make sure the Wormtail got to Voldemort so he could be resurrected. We can't leave too much to chance," she paused for a second then added with a teasing grin, "You know fate hates you anyway."

Despite myself, I cracked a grin of my own, and leaned down and gave her a kiss. There would be hard times ahead, fate's hatred of me guaranteed it, but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy myself right now while I could. After all, wasn't that part of the reason that we came back. So we could finally enjoy ourselves with our family?

Eventually Mrs. Weasley's yelling calling everyone down for breakfast broke us apart. I got up and offered Ginny a hand to help her up. We made our way back inside, and heard the Weasley horde rushing downstairs for first dibs in breakfast. I shook my head laughing to myself. Some things would never change no matter how much time passed, or was meddled with.

"Ron! Will you stop shoveling food in your mouth for five seconds?" asked an irritated Hermione. Poor Hermione, I thought, never was able to handle Ron's eating habits.

"Butimhungry," was his muffled reply.

"Really Ron? Swallow before you talk for Merlin's sake!"

Ron sent a glare in her direction, before stuffing more food into his mouth. I heard Ginny giggle beside me and sent her what would eventually become my trademark grin. It was so good to be able to sit down and eat meals with my real family again. There were only a few places that I ever felt content and a meal at the Burrow was definitely one of them. No one couldn't help but laugh at the strange antics of the oversized family and their clashing personalities.

All of the sudden Ron's hair turned bright pink and his clothes transformed into girl pajamas with little red hearts filled with "RH" in the middle. I tried not to laugh, I really did, but Ginny broke out and laughter beside me and with another look at Ron so did I. I couldn't help it, it really looked stupid. Ron's face went flaming red, and he sent a glare toward the twin's. They just gave him two innocent looks and he threw a sausage at them before getting up and fleeing from the table to his room.

"What did you do to him?" Mrs. Weasley screamed at the twins.

"Us?"

"Do something?"

"Surely you know us better then that by now."

"Oh don't try that! Not only are pranks inappropriate, you aren't supposed to use magic outside of school and you two know that! Oh, it's a wonder you haven't been expelled yet."

"Oh come on mom, you have to admit that was funny," input Ginny with a grin. "Besides, did you see what was in those hearts Hermione?" she added with a sly grin at their friend.

Hermione too went bright red but remained silent. Mrs. Weasley's glare shifted toward her only daughter. Fred and George exchanged looks and slowly started inching out of the room while their mom was distracted. Ginny braced herself for a chewing out and sent the twins a glare mouthing "Wimps." I grinned to myself, I felt truly content for the first time in fifteen years.

AN: Well that's chapter two! For this story, I'm planning on an average of 3,000 to 5,000 words per chapter depending on where I want to end it and what scenes take place during it. If you haven't noticed, I'm glossing over stuff that happened in the books and instead, I'm focusing on the emotions of going through this after all that Harry has been through. Oh, and if anyone is interested in being a beta for this story send me a pm. I'm in desperate need of one, if you all couldn't tell! Until next time!


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